Home Bios/Photos Song Clips Reviews Laura's Diary Booking/Schedule Links

Keep Young & Beautiful!

Laura Ainsworth

Laura Ainsworth

     If you’ve ever thought today’s fashion models
look too young even to model a prom dress…

     If you eat more salmon than your cat because
you’ve heard it prevents wrinkles…

Or if you’ve ever hesitated to follow a
dream because you fear it's “too late”…


Then you’ll love "Keep Young & Beautiful!," the hit musical show that lampoons the never-ending battle to stay young and beautiful, starring singer/comedian Laura Ainsworth and pianist Brian Piper!

Laura Ainsworth & Brian Piper

While working in live theatre, radio and TV as a singer, actress and comedy writer, Laura Ainsworth began to notice the intense pressure on performers to "keep young and beautiful" that now permeates every area of society.  Keep Young & Beautiful! (formerly titled "My Ship Has Sailed") is her melodically hilarious skewering of our pathological obsession with age and looks, her attempt to promote the revolutionary ideas that "life doesn't happen on a timetable," age doesn't matter, and however you deal with it, from proudly displaying your wrinkles to getting a facelift, it's your own choice.  As Laura puts it, "It's your ship; you're the one steering it, and you can always turn the wheel!"

     A mixture of concert, cabaret, stand-up comedy and multi-media, the show weds Laura's gorgeous, rich vocals and renowned pianist/arranger Brian Piper's impeccable accompaniment on melodies by Kern, Sondheim and more to some of the funniest parody song lyrics this side of Tom Lehrer.  Critics and audiences alike have lauded it as a cutting-edge social satire elegantly disguised as the type of sophisticated musical/comedy supper club show that defined Manhattan nightlife in the '50s.

     From “The Botox Song,” based on Madonna’s “Frozen,” to her Ella-style take on the classic torch song, "Why Was I Born" ("When was I born?...I'm never telling...") to Puccini’s immortal aria about wrinkles, “O Worship Dr. Perricone”....

Laura Ainsworth at D'jango on the Parkway

From Laura's ribald Julie Andrews take on teenage fashion, "The Simple Joys of Maidenhood" ("Shall I wear all the nasty things a maiden would?...") to her tongue-twisting Gilbert & Sullivan-style list of dozens of essential anti-aging products, "These Are The Very Promise of a Youth That is Ephemeral"...

Keep Young & Beautiful! is hilarious, inspirational and exfoliational!

You’ll want to return and bring all your friends for this evening of beautiful music and outrageous humor about cosmetics, fashion, plastic surgery, diets, aging, anti-aging, the fear of being "too old" to try new things,  the double standard on looks for men and women, our society's obsession with knowing how old everyone is, and all the ridiculous, outrageous, funny and insane things we willingly endure to fight...

"The last big culturally-acceptable
bias: looking over 30!"



If you don't have WIndows Media Player, click here to download it free!

To request a higher quality DVD copy of the demo and a full press kit, click here!

To read Laura's hilarious and provocative blog on age and beauty pressures, plastic surgery, Botox, fashion and suchlike topics, click here! 

Or, for the Atom post version you can subscribe to and leave comments on,
visit her Blogspot site here!

"My Ship Has Sailed" poster art

The Critics Rave!

"A Potential Cult Phenomenon!
A dynamite revue…A merciless spoof of modern America's fear of...aging" by satirical singer Laura Ainsworth, "whose Julie Andrews-style These Are The Things That The Taliban Banned was one of the cleverest song parodies since the heyday of Tom Lehrer!" -- Ft. Worth Star Telegram  

"Highly entertaining...
A vivid personality with a wonderful stage presence...Ms Ainsworth is a quite accomplished singer-comedienne.  She wrings maximum doses of humor out of every last wonderful lyric that she has written..."

                                                                                                       -- Joseph Melnicoff, BroadwayWorld.com

"3-1/2 Stars...A sophisticated one-woman show...Ainsworth's act is a hybrid, as she is a fine lounge singer with comic flair who delivers her songs in a beautiful, sultry voice with superb breath control...She tells the audience, 'If Julie Andrews and Weird Al Yankovic had a child, it would be me!'"  -- TotalTheatre.com

To read more reviews, click here!


For info on either show, contact Pat Reeder at 214-370-9917 or email webmaster@lauraainsworth.com.   For downloadable photos and a ready-to-use press release about "Keep Young & Beautiful!," click here.

"Keep Young & Beautiful!" can be booked for upscale cabarets, supper clubs, theaters and nightclubs. 

The show is also excellent for large-scale private birthdays parties and as corporate entertainment.  Its clean humor, beautiful music and inspiring message make it perfect for any audience, but it is especially appropriate for female-oriented businesses such as the cosmetics, health and fashion industries, or as conference entertainment for spouses.

Laura Ainsworth and Michael Gott's "Cole Porter: Elegance & Decadence" is also a great show for adults of any age, filled with some of the greatest music and wittiest lyrics ever written.  If you have a party or corporate event that could use a sophisticated touch, this is the show for you!

Laura can put together special shows on request (turn-of-the-century songs, all Gershwin, or whatever you require) for corporate and large private events.  She can also write customized parody  lyrics. 

For booking information, click here or drop us a line.    

Return to home page

Search Engine

All material © copyright 2003-2007 by Laura Ainsworth.  Unauthorized use, reproduction or distribution strictly prohibited. 

Django photos by Larry Groebe except where noted.
Headshots by Marty Perlman Photography.